Hate is a strong word and one that is used frequently and carelessly. For many people hate is a real and toxic force in their lives. It is obsessive, it eats away at your happiness and seeps into every facet of your life affecting your relationships and careers. So why do we feel hate and how do we let it go?
The ones we love or should have loved us the most are often the ones who let us down. Neglectful or abusive parents, past lovers, ex-friends, these are people we invested in and should have cared for and protected us.
This can be the hardest but the most important hate to let go of for your happiness and well-being. Continuing to let these people bring down your happiness and cause you pain only hurts yourself, not them. Part of moving on is to let go of all emotions tied to this person and the events, good and bad.
Accept that the past can not be changed
Replaying the past and its emotions and dwelling on rhetorical “What if’s?” and “If only’s” can only cause to continue the associated pain. Whilst we can learn from experiences and mistakes, it is also helpful to let ourselves forget and focus on the present and the future.
Accept that all people have flaws
There are some straight out bad people in this world and removing them from your life and forgetting them is the best thing you can do. However, not all people are inherently bad because they have treated you poorly and made mistakes. We can all be selfish, negligent and hurt other people’s feelings whether consciously or unconsciously throughout our lives. It can be helpful to forgive, not necessarily because they deserve it, but because you deserve peace.
Find closure within yourself
Hate is a two faced monster, where there is anger for mistreatment there is self-anger for ones own behaviour. Accept that hindsight is a far sharper and crueller judge than you could’ve been at the time and forgive yourself for your role. Write a letter you may never send and say all the things you would if you could about what happened and how you felt. Once its all written put it away somewhere or it might feel good to burn it or tear it into tiny pieces. For you let this chapter now be over.
When you let go of hate there is an overwhelming sense of relief and contentment. You open yourself up for so many more positive emotions. Think of it as spring cleaning your soul! Clearing out the dregs of your past that are holding you back will leave you feeling fresh to face the future possibilities.